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After several long years in a committed, long term relationship, my partner told me that she doesn't want me to serve her. To put her on the altar and be of service to her.
This is surprisingly painful. After years of willingly giving up my body, my mind, my character to her, not only does she not appreciate it, she does not want it to be that way. Which is saddening to hear, because the times that I am most happy with her, the times when I feel most pleased, are the times she loves and rewards me for what I sacrificed and serviced throughout my many missions of making her happy.
All this thought, all this sadness within me suddenly brings up the question - am I really a submissive?
I've never thought of it before, but observing that the times I feel most fulfilled are when I complete my service, and hang on to whatever gratitude or gratefulness that I receive, no matter how little or minute? Isn't that being a classic submissive?
I want to be happy again. I want to feel rewarded, I want to feel that my service counts for something. I want my submission of my will to be given to someone who is willing to accept it, and can thank me for my work. If that makes me a submissive, then . . . . I don't know . . . .
I'd like to get a perspective from someone . . . anyone . . . . . wifes, girlfriends, dommes, other submissives . . . . . any help to frame my perspective would be much appreciative.
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This is surprisingly painful. After years of willingly giving up my body, my mind, my character to her, not only does she not appreciate it, she does not want it to be that way. Which is saddening to hear, because the times that I am most happy with her, the times when I feel most pleased, are the times she loves and rewards me for what I sacrificed and serviced throughout my many missions of making her happy.
All this thought, all this sadness within me suddenly brings up the question - am I really a submissive?
I've never thought of it before, but observing that the times I feel most fulfilled are when I complete my service, and hang on to whatever gratitude or gratefulness that I receive, no matter how little or minute? Isn't that being a classic submissive?
I want to be happy again. I want to feel rewarded, I want to feel that my service counts for something. I want my submission of my will to be given to someone who is willing to accept it, and can thank me for my work. If that makes me a submissive, then . . . . I don't know . . . .
I'd like to get a perspective from someone . . . anyone . . . . . wifes, girlfriends, dommes, other submissives . . . . . any help to frame my perspective would be much appreciative.
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