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The Date-O-MaticTM Are you tired of dating experiences that leave you wanting to change your phone number? Are you tired of dating experiences that leave you wanting to delete your OKCupid profile? Are you tired of dating experiences that leave you wanting to rotate along a fourth spatial dimension so that no one in reality as we know it can ever see you again? Then isnt it about time that you gave the Date-O-Matic a try?
What distinguishes the Date-O-Matic from similar potential dates?
The Date-O-Matic is a Jewish white woman with Mediterranean and Slavic ancestry; long, wavy brown and blonde hair; and eyes the color of .
The Date-O-Matic does not discriminate!
The Date-O-Matic will be willing to date you regardless of your race, ethnicity, or trans status. She will not turn you down if you are bisexual or a lesbian who lacks "gold star" status. More generally the Date-O-Matic will not shame you for your sexual history; arent there plenty of men out there who are already willing to do that? All the Date-O-Matic asks is that you be a woman and a decent human being who treats her with respect.
The Date-O-Matic can hold her own in intelligent conversations!
Do you like talking about politics, philosophy, religion, linguistics, or evolutionary biology? The Date-O-Matic can make relevant contributions to your discussion. She has read a lot, including books about lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women, and watched more than a few documentaries.
The Date-O-Matic has a variety of entertainment interests!
When it comes to movies, the Date-O-Matic enjoys drama, sci-fi, fantasy, and psycho-thrillers. She loves to watch same-gender romance movies, including the ones that are so bad theyre good. She likes television comedies, including Arrested Development, Better Off , Fresh Off the Boat, Clone High, and Last Week Tonight with Oliver. Her pop music tastes span seven decades, and she also likes classical music. She has a deep appreciation for musical.The Date-O-Matic seldom enjoys watching sports, but if sports are your thing, she might be willing to go with you to a game every now and then. Relationships are all about compromise, right?
The Date-O-Matic is not available in any store!
Testimonials*:
"I went on a date with the Date-O-Matic, and I lost pounds." Tovah Sonsine, Cleveland, OH
"I used to shampoo daily, not realizing how much damage my store-bought products were doing to my hair. After going on a date with the Date-O-Matic I no longer shampoo, and my hair looks fabulous." Madlenka Majercik, Seattle, WA
"After just one date with the Date-O-Matic I stopped using my prescription glasses while driving, and pedestrians say I drive just as well as anyone else behind the wheel of a car in my city." Hope Johnson, Chicago, IL
But wait! Theres more! If you contact us about a date with the Date-O-Matic today, we will throw in a free anecdote about seeing the musical Rent! live with two of the original cast members!
Order now! Operators are standing by.
The Fine Print: The Date-O-Matic is not compatible with people who use tobacco products (sorry!), people who are politiy conservative or moderate, or people who believe "political correctness" is a problem. The Date-O-Matic is not looking for a pen pal or someone who would be unable or unwilling to meet up with her in person. While the Date-O-Matic does not expect you to be out to *every* person in your life, she is not interested in being your "dirty little secret", and if things get serious, she will want you to introduce her to some of the important people in your life.
*The claims made in the testimonials have not been verified by the FDA. They have, however, been verified by the NSA.

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