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IMY w4m I miss you
I miss you.
You have no idea how much I've missed you
How much my heart aches for you.
Every night before I go to bed I cry and cry because I miss you and
the connection we had, even if it was just what it was, unofficial.
You befriended me when I really needed someone and then left
me when I truly needed you.
You didn't believe the things I told you,
and it put me in a state of despair and desparation.
I know you got tired of our situation,
it wasn't good for you,
it wasn't good for me.
I'm surprised you hung in there as long as you did, I have to get you that much.
Timing is everything and we just couldn't get it together.
I told you I wanted to be with you as a single person,
but you were in too big of a hurry to move on to someone else.
I don't know if it could ever be the same for us
I feel like I was betrayed in the worst possible way.
You hooked up with someone I considered a friend
There's an unwritten code that women have about that, you DON'T do it.
For you to flaunt your new relationshiop in front of me
There is no worse emotional abuse.
It seems like you've move on,
your new girlfriend seems over the moon happy,
but you seem more depressed than ever, which I don't understand.
You should be happy that you got who and what you wanted,
You got the girl you always talked about to me (weirdly),
Now it doesn't seem like you got what you really wanted
I don't understand.
Is it the chase that thrills you and then when you get it you're no longer turned on?
It's upsetting to me that you don't seem happy, but it would probably be even
worse if I saw that you were happy.
It's just a sick feeling I get that you made a mistake and I couldn't or wouldn't stop it.
I probably could have stopped it but I didn't want to be the one to control the show,
You had to learn by your own mistakes like I did. Yea it sucks.
I don't know why I can't move on.
Until I can forgive you and forget I am stuck,
Stuck feeling like a helpless victim
A victim of which I took my part in.
I take full responsibility for my part in this mess.
I don't want to lie and hide and be secretive anymore.
It hurt me so bad to do that for so long, its damaged my self-esteem.
I've done some things I'm not proud of
And I pray to God every night to forgive me.
Tell me how to move past all of this hurt and confusion.
My heart feels like its been twisted and stabbed and stomped on.
I don't know which way to turn,
but I'm ready to move on with my life.
There are so many questions I wish I had answers to.
I don't know if having the answers would even matter
But I hate not knowing what we could have had.
We may now never have the opportunity to ever really know each other
And that is what makes me really really sad.
I keep telling myself there had to be a lesson learned from this.
I guess the lesson I've learned
is that I was able to open my heart and love again.
I just pray that God will give me the opportunity to find someone to love
and let me be happy again.

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